"Above all, let your love for one another be intense." [ 1 Peter 4:8]
Last Thursday as I left Saint Martin de Porres I was filled with frustration. My mind fixated on a conversation that I had just had with a student in *Academic Assistance. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "You need to either come in or leave. You can not just sit here and talk."
Student: "I don't want to do homework. I already finished my paper. I will get my C and that's all I need."
Me: "Do you really want to be average the rest of your life? You can do better."
Student: " I don't really care." Jeeze this must be a conspiracy. My math teacher said this today."
Me: " Yes. This is part of our secret plan. You will not get by with a C average in the hyper competitive society we live in. Ask any of the teachers here. College is hard. Sit down and work on your paper. I'm watching you."
Student: sits down and at least pretends to do their paper for thirty minutes and as he leaves he smirked and stated, "I worked on it. Happy? You guys need to calm down."
Three months ago I would have cringed as I thought about the audacious manner of my comments towards this student. I would have analyzed over and over in my head how mean it is to tell a student they are on the average track. I would have interpreted myself as rude for my lack of censoring. My natural disposition is to be quiet, cautious, and intentional when I am talking to individuals that I do not know very well. I am more of an observer than a talker typically, especially when I am interacting with people I do not know well. My bubble has been broken.
I came to the realization quickly that students are not receptive to timid and overly nice personalities. Of course I was warned about this reality, but it didn't resonate with me until the first week of school. Students have no problem testing their limits with you. For me this means that at times I am completely uncomfortable. The students often will tell you anything that is on their minds. For some of the students walls are clearly up and they remind you at any opportune moment that they do not like school.
One of my initial struggles presented the first week when I reflected on how my personality clashed with that of an effective teacher. I knew I was going to have to completely put myself out there in order for the students to be responsive to me. Quite honestly I have seen that for many of the students, they want boundaries. Sometimes, I think they even want you to yell at them, punish them, and fight with them to do their work. I’m not trying to make generalizations about the students I encounter. Every student is different. But, these are some of my experiences thus far.
I have found the despite some of these challenges that I experience I love the students. Even with all the insecurity, frustration, and confusion that some of my days have caused I still care about the students. At times I’m even utterly amused by their shenanigans. I have never had a moment where I have questioned my decision of doing service.
Today, I went hiking for my first time at Camp Christopher. I was a chaperon for the freshman students on retreat. I had to rely on students to lift me up rock walls and spot me as I walked across a rope wall. We also all hiked up the same mountain. At times people ended up tripping over and grabbing onto each other. We laughed and quickly moved on. The divides that sometimes separate the adults from the students seemed to dissipate.
At the end of the day, as we reflected on the experience we discussed how throughout the day we needed each other to complete each task. We discussed how this experience is also comparable to our daily lives. God puts us on this earth to serve one another as one family. We are only as strong as our weakest link. I will not quickly forget this day. I'm thinking of you all.
Love,
Tina
*Academic Assistance: place after school where students can have a quiet place to work, access computers, receive tutoring, or serve Mod T a form of detention.
No comments:
Post a Comment