Marching On

It was mid April when I realized that I finally had found some consistency in my day-to-day life that I have been yearning for my last nine months. I am a person of habit. I find comfort Monday through Friday sitting in the same desk, drinking my morning coffee, and making my daily plan. Now with the nature of the volunteer position at Saint Martins I very seldom get to actually check everything off my list. Typically something will pop up and alter my plans- subbing, phone calls to parents, tutoring, or working on miscellaneous projects that I am given. Yet, I still find comfort in having my list ready. 


Where is my consistency coming from then? One of the most important differences is I know names! Not all of them, but a good portion. Now when I sub I can skip formal roll call, I  can check it off in my head. I know who is who and what to expect. I walk the halls and I can greet the students by name. This has helped me to foster a relationship with some of the students. Progress. 


Aside from names the rest of my consistency comes from my acquired knowledge - being able to put together a bulletin board spur of the moment, knowing how to navigate Administrators Plus ( contains rosters, phone numbers, student pictures, grades), being in tune with the academic needs of particular students and their learning styles, being able to keep my cool and deal with a paper jam in the copier when there is ten minutes before class and much to be printed. The list continues. I've been thinking about these little things and all of the growth I've had. From time to time I think what now? I'm leaving in a few months. 


The transitions of the volunteer year are continuous. The volunteer year starts out with orientation in the summer and getting to know all of the wonderful HM volunteers, the HM sisters, and your new roommate(s), then you move into a new house, start a new job, meet new people, adjust to the new job, start a different routine, and somewhere in the midst of it all plan the next year, followed by transitioning out of your placement and starting the next adventure. Whoah! A volunteer year is a year of your life committed to change and growth. 


You are warned at the beginning of the year that in this work your never going to feel "finished". I'm really starting to understand that reality now. I will finish off the year and not feel "done". Yet, at this point I think that my peace comes from thinking that these feelings of disgruntlement can help channel me to continue to do the work that I do in a different capacity. The volunteer year is only the beginning and  a small part of the whole picture. I don't have a magic formula to fix the feelings of dissatisfaction, but I do find comfort in the thought of progressing forward.  I am excited for all that's to come. 


Below is a prayer below that I believe captures some of my feelings that I experience as a volunteer. 

Excerpt from an Oscar Romero prayer: 

This is what we are about.

We plant the seeds that one day will grow.

We water seeds already planted,

knowing that they hold future promise.

 We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation

in realizing that. This enables us to do something,

and to do it very well. It may be incomplete,

but it is a beginning, a step along the way,

an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference

between the master builder and the worker.

Love, 
Tina