Reality check

The most important reality checks

I've learned in or about service here, there, or anywhere.

1. It's not about you.

If you go into service looking for that warm fuzzy feeling or praise or an opportunity to “really work with the less fortunate” you are likely to be sorely disappointed. Service is rarely glamorous. There is paper work (a lot of it), there are rules (so many), you will likely work for or with people who make you want to scream, and you'll probably hear $%# you from the clients more than you'll hear thank you, but you do it, because it's what needs to be done.

2. It's still not about you.

What you think someone needs and what they need are not necessarily the same thing. When confronted with a survivor of sexual assault a first instinct might be to hold and comfort, but to do so denies the survivor the space they might need to feel safe.

3. If you're expectations aren't being met then maybe it's you're expectations that have to change.

While it is okay to have standards it is important to recognize that expectations are requirements you have forothers. It is you who creates these standards and it is up to you to decide what is truly important, from and for whom.

4. Give only what is needed

When you give too much of anything be it items, time, or yourself you end up serving no one. When you're giving becomes paternalistic you prevent those you work with from making their own achievements. If you burn yourself out you will be of use to no one.

5. Stand with the oppressed, not for them. ~Paolo Freire

6. Every moment is a new moment.

You do no one a favor by holding a grudge. Particularly when working with children it is important to look at every instant as a new beginning, because it is. Because each second is an opportunity to be better than before, to do it differently, wrong, right, or simply again. If you refuse to see a new opportunity you risk preventing someone else's success.

7. In the end, you're not giving, you're restoring.

No one is born underprivileged. Inequality exists because people are actively denied the ability to meet their own needs. Recognise your own place in the social schema of inequality. Do not feel guilty about your status as an oppressor (it serves no one), but use it as an opportunity to change and to lend your voice to those in need of it.

*phew* There's my super intense post. Read the next post for something a bit more fun!